I've set the blog aside for a while to give twitter a try.  Join me, oh tall people.

https://twitter.com/#!/DiaryOfTallGirl

Airplane

Flying is a hassle for tall people. Ceilings are too low, seats are too close together, and the overall "baby giraffe stuffed into a cardboard box" experience is one we like to avoid.

But today was especially... interesting.

It began with the Southwest check-in guy anoncing to 50+ people in line, "I'm not checking her in, she's too tall." Of course, I laugh with him. (Life lesson: this usually works with most morons, giving them enough satisfaction to shut up while they're ahead.)

Unfortunately, this gave him momentum. He then blurted out "Yeah, you could beat me up or something."

I glanced at the other check in lady. She looked at me with pity.... Poor tall girl. Hope she doesn't file a harassment lawsuit.

So I stepped back and analyzed the situation.

Option A) Stare the guy down and then move on as if he never existed. Unfortunately, am incapable of this. I've only done this twice, and it was after someone said something incredibly horrible. (Those people are too pathetic to dignify with my blog. I am going to spare the reputation of humanity and move on.)

Option B) Make fun of him. In hindsight, this would have been a good option. He and Gary Busey had similar facial features and IQ's.

Option C) RUN. Not possible at an airport unless you want to spend the night with a federal officer.

But before I could show him my spindly 6-foot wingspan and pinch my tiny bicep to prove my punyness, ANOTHER TALL GIRL showed up next to me. Hallelujah. But suddenly she got kind of angry. It was scary.

He started to backtrack, and said we were "beautiful.... But too strong." I started to get really confused. So I snatched my boarding pass from the ticket lady and ran.

#7 Short Shorts

great thing about being tall #7: short shorts. they are just that much shorter. enough said.

go tall!

#6 Being a Beacon

Great thing about being tall #6: helping your friends find their way back.

We do our friends a service when we go into large crowds with them. No need for obnoxious matching t'shirts or whistles attached to lanyards. If you get lost, just go to the tall.

"Hey guys, let's split up for a while and then meet at Kristen at like 4:00."

great dress pants

I finally found a great pair of comfortable, super long dress pants.

http://us.longtallsally.com/tall/pants/neva-allegropant/black?category=f-020_pants

lookout corporate world, i'm ready to climb that ladder. in my new pants.

#5 Higher Ground

I love being tall and hugging. I wrap my arms around 'so and so' and my head is either above theirs or next to it. But to all the shorties, they hug me and bam. Face in my boobs.

Go tall!

#4 Big Hands

Great thing about being tall #4: Big Hands

Ever needed to grab a cantaloupe in a hurry with one hand? Well, I can.

Other ways in which these long fingers/big hands make my life easier:

getting the last olive from the jar.

handling cats.

reaching into skinny long crevices to fish out small objects.

weaving?

playing the piano.

giving the best high-fives.

#3 Fewer Muggers

Great thing about being tall #3: Fewer Muggers.

Now I dont want to say NO muggers (that would just be asking for it) but chances that someone is going to come after a girl over 6 feet is highly unlikely. Why would they attack me when there are plenty of other shrimps around for the picking? (hey friends, maybe that's why i choose you as friends. live bait. think about that one.)

If I get mugged, then fine. That's karma. But I doubt it. I'm pretty frightening. I dare you to attack me! HAI - YAH!

#2 The Lazy Reach

Great thing about being tall #2: The Lazy Reach

There's that moment: when you're lying down on the couch or bed and you have to grab something on the ground, a faraway table, or across the room.

Most regular humans wouldn't even attempt such a feat. The remote control, dropped cell phone, or rolling bottle of advil will stay there, dormant, until that person has the inner strength to sit up and brave the hardwood floors.

-- but alas! Out your arms go, like a frog's tongue or spiderman's hand webs. It takes one tiny groan to finally reach it, but you do. It's a triumph of the human spirit, and of the will to be lazy.

Unfortunately the laziness involved prevents any sort of victory fist pump. But we know how awesome we are.

Great Things About Being Tall

#1 Being able to reach anything at the grocery store, and feeling like a superhero for the tiny old ladies who can't reach the shake 'n bake.

Clothes

A big question for the tall ladies out there is this: what cuts of clothing make us look the most... proportional? I have a strangely short torso and too-long legs, so it's hard for me to make things work. I usually buy regular-human shirts and go elsewhere for my pants, but often end up looking like a potato with two chopsticks stabbed in the bottom.

But last year, one of my mentors taught me some amazing tips for proportioning my "look," as they say. (and by "they," I mean people over 45).

Trick #1. V-Necks. The V-Neck creates longer lines, breaking up the large chunks of color that you'd get with a crew neck. The best possible look is a double-V that will break up a long shirt of a dress.

Trick #2. 3 Equal Parts. One of my favorite looks has only 1 qualification: you must be wearing 2 items of clothing that are the same length as the visible part of your legs (or pants). So get a high-waisted longish skirt, a medium shirt, and voila. You will be chopped into three proportionate parts and people will just be DAZZLED by your normalcy.

Wanna get wild? Go for 4 parts! cute top, short skirt, tights, and tall boots! BAM!

Trick #3 Long shirts. If you're short waisted like me, long shirts will make you LOOK long waisted and more proportionate.

Trick #4 Big Accessories. Big purses, big earrings, etc. These things make you look smaller. The same goes for all items. Don't hold anything too small (chihuahuas, shot glasses, miniature horses) because then you'll look like a giant. Instead, hold big stuff (big gulps, disney's mickey hand gloves, regular sized horses), and you'll look tiny.

Trick #5 Long Necklaces. Creates a V-Neck even when you aren't wearing one.

Trick #6 No Onesies. This is obvious for all adults. But in the same thread, don't wear all one color. Monochromatic onesie looks don't flatter.

Moral of the story, dress up. Go out. Show off! BE TALL YEAHHH! too excited? never.

Post Secret

A great post-secret postcard this week.

A Higher Point of View

BIG NEWS: my tall video has reached 3,500 youtube hits!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybI6mLm2hyk

if only that many people read my blog. (maybe my inability to update has something to do with this.) but whoohoo! internet celeb! (too far?)

i'm so glad people can relate to being tall. or maybe i'm the next william hung or something.... maybe people are laughing AT me rather than WITH me. eh, OH WELL!

Subway

Yesterday, I thought:

"One thing I love about this city is that there are always people who look 'odder' than me. Who are you gonna stare at- the tall girl or the herd of tourists on a Segway tour?"

I almost 'tweeted' this as I walked to Subway for lunch, (free advertising for flatbread! yum!) but decided to save my iPhone data bytes and forgot about it. But in the 10 minute trip from my office, to Subway then back to my office, 5 PEOPLE ASKED ME HOW TALL I WAS.

karma for my arrogance? clearly i'm the most interesting oddball out there.

Finally

The streak is broken: A man today asked me how tall i was. I think i jinxed it with my post yesterday.

But anyway, I think he was only asking because he needed a way to get close to my car to wash my windshield while i pumped my gas. I hate this, because I'm sure that I make less money than he does, and i have to pay for something i don't want (my wipers do just fine).

But here's the kicker, he said to me,

"What are you, 5'9 or 5'10?"

Needless to say, I tipped him.

Nicen-Up Chicago

My Nicen-Up Chicago Action Plan.

My ideas for a non-profit organization dedicated to making the city a friendlier place to live. This is the code by which we should live by. If successful, we will wave this in the face of New Yorkers (who are not nice) and all cities in Texas (who brag about being nice).

• If anyone lets you into their lane of traffic, you MUST do the little wave. It can be a simple one-two wave, to the beat of “thank-you,” but it must be visible. Out the window is a plus, wiggling fingers preferred. (Salutes acceptable)
• Smiling at complete strangers is required after eye contact, saying hello is optional. This is no longer simply a way to pick up chicks/dudes. Although, this is still encouraged.
• If you're really dedicated, say hello to everyone you see. At first, people may mistake you for a crazy murderer, but it will pay off eventually. Here's a great reader’s digest (don’t judge me) article about what happens if you do: http://www.rd.com/living-healthy/what-if-you-said-hello-to-everyone-in-your-path-for-a-month/article107782.html
• Tip well. Treat your waiter/waitress as your friend, not your indentured servant or subordinate. Also, stick a please on the beginning of your order, and a thank you at the end.
• [For waiters, instead of spitting in it, sprinkle a little home-made love into soup]
• Pretend that workers (construction, maintenance, retail) are people. Oh wait. They are. Be friendly and ask them [genuinely] how they're doing.
• If someone does something nice for you, pay it forward.
• Reserve honking for very serious situations. These include someone has almost killed you, hit a pedestrian, or cut you off so terribly that you have to get out and check to see if your bumper is still attached.
• Do random acts of kindness, like baking your garbageman and mailman Christmas cookies. Don't poison them if you are unhappy with said man.
• Meet your neighbors.
• Hold open doors.
• Smile at babies and things on leashes. (my neighbor has a cat on a leash, so I'm not discriminating)

If you have any more ideas, let me know. We’ll write up something for the mayor.

The Big City

I recently moved to the big city (Chicago), and somehow, SOME WAY, not one person has asked me how tall I am. I realized this today, and was pleasantly shocked. When I lived in rural Indiana, someone asked me this question every time I showed my face in public.

So, what factors are at work here? It could be that:

1) people are much less friendly here. I hate this about cities and make it a point to be obnoxiously nice to anyone who holds a door open for me/serves me food/glances in my general direction.

2) people don't notice my height. (not likely: the times I look tallest are when i am standing in a crowd and my head sticks out like a ping pong ball in a punchbowl)

3) i am shrinking? (it's true, i haven't been measured recently. only the doctors office this summer where the "incident" occured: http://ahigherpointofview.blogspot.com/2010/09/today-at-doctors-office-nurse-just.html)

4) i can't remember what 4 is

All signs point to #1. I think this means that instead of finding a real job, I will start a non-profit called, "Nicen-Up Chicago." Stay tuned for my action plan.

Feet

You'd think that people who notice my height would always look straight up at my head, measure me up, and get over it. "You TALL!" they'd say, and then keep moseying down the sidewalk.

But usually, they look at my head and then down at my feet. Huh? I'm hypothesizing as to why this happens:

- To see if I'm wearing heels (to explain how i could possible be so enormous)

- To see what size shoe I wear (to explain how i possibly stay standing)

When I wear flat shoes, they look back at me with wide eyes. Yep, I'm tall. But here's the kicker- usually, If I'm wearing heels, they look away and figure that that's why I'm so tall.

So here's my idea- if I always wear heels, will people just say "ah, that's why she's so tall," and leave me alone? Doubtful. But it's a thought.

Rummage

I've been volunteering at a local rummage sale, and this was the prime place to be asked about my height. Something about the over-40 crowd leads them to believe that they have authority to ask.

And only rarely does it bother me, but this encounter left me with a bad taste in my mouth.

Woman: "OH MY GOD. How tall are you? holy cow!"

Me: "Haha. I'm almost 6'2"

Woman: "No way. You are WAY taller than that."

I was speechless. What was she thinking? Was she saying that I was LYING? i NEVER lie! I wish that I had said:

Me: "REALLY? Lady, you are wearing all denim. Leave me alone."

ALL NEW.

I'm moving through all realms of digital media. Hello twitter, I'm tall.

http://twitter.com/DiaryOfTallGirl