Clothes

A big question for the tall ladies out there is this: what cuts of clothing make us look the most... proportional? I have a strangely short torso and too-long legs, so it's hard for me to make things work. I usually buy regular-human shirts and go elsewhere for my pants, but often end up looking like a potato with two chopsticks stabbed in the bottom.

But last year, one of my mentors taught me some amazing tips for proportioning my "look," as they say. (and by "they," I mean people over 45).

Trick #1. V-Necks. The V-Neck creates longer lines, breaking up the large chunks of color that you'd get with a crew neck. The best possible look is a double-V that will break up a long shirt of a dress.

Trick #2. 3 Equal Parts. One of my favorite looks has only 1 qualification: you must be wearing 2 items of clothing that are the same length as the visible part of your legs (or pants). So get a high-waisted longish skirt, a medium shirt, and voila. You will be chopped into three proportionate parts and people will just be DAZZLED by your normalcy.

Wanna get wild? Go for 4 parts! cute top, short skirt, tights, and tall boots! BAM!

Trick #3 Long shirts. If you're short waisted like me, long shirts will make you LOOK long waisted and more proportionate.

Trick #4 Big Accessories. Big purses, big earrings, etc. These things make you look smaller. The same goes for all items. Don't hold anything too small (chihuahuas, shot glasses, miniature horses) because then you'll look like a giant. Instead, hold big stuff (big gulps, disney's mickey hand gloves, regular sized horses), and you'll look tiny.

Trick #5 Long Necklaces. Creates a V-Neck even when you aren't wearing one.

Trick #6 No Onesies. This is obvious for all adults. But in the same thread, don't wear all one color. Monochromatic onesie looks don't flatter.

Moral of the story, dress up. Go out. Show off! BE TALL YEAHHH! too excited? never.