Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Airplane

Flying is a hassle for tall people. Ceilings are too low, seats are too close together, and the overall "baby giraffe stuffed into a cardboard box" experience is one we like to avoid.

But today was especially... interesting.

It began with the Southwest check-in guy anoncing to 50+ people in line, "I'm not checking her in, she's too tall." Of course, I laugh with him. (Life lesson: this usually works with most morons, giving them enough satisfaction to shut up while they're ahead.)

Unfortunately, this gave him momentum. He then blurted out "Yeah, you could beat me up or something."

I glanced at the other check in lady. She looked at me with pity.... Poor tall girl. Hope she doesn't file a harassment lawsuit.

So I stepped back and analyzed the situation.

Option A) Stare the guy down and then move on as if he never existed. Unfortunately, am incapable of this. I've only done this twice, and it was after someone said something incredibly horrible. (Those people are too pathetic to dignify with my blog. I am going to spare the reputation of humanity and move on.)

Option B) Make fun of him. In hindsight, this would have been a good option. He and Gary Busey had similar facial features and IQ's.

Option C) RUN. Not possible at an airport unless you want to spend the night with a federal officer.

But before I could show him my spindly 6-foot wingspan and pinch my tiny bicep to prove my punyness, ANOTHER TALL GIRL showed up next to me. Hallelujah. But suddenly she got kind of angry. It was scary.

He started to backtrack, and said we were "beautiful.... But too strong." I started to get really confused. So I snatched my boarding pass from the ticket lady and ran.